i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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