Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am available for nakedness
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
