Heybabeimwearingurpanties
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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