Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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