I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
