Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
