I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
