CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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