The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
