i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
