Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
