I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fuck appropriateness.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
