Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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