Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
