whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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