btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
