I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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