Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
