Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
