guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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