I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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