Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize