dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
