"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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