I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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