I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
