Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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