it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
