And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my sisters under your porch take her home
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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