I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
