The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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