According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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