I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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