very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
