but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
