how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
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I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
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Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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