people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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