we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
