i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
