i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize