Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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