For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
