awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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