your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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