i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize