Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
