News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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