No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize