So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize