Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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