Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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