i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
