Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
