who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
