i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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