i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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