I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize