so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
