Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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