I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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