I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
