My liver just broke up with me...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize